Thursday, December 2, 2010

Stages of Vegas


Apologies to all of my friends who received this in an e-mail the first time I wrote it after our Fall Vegas trip.  Upon review from the booth, it's worthy of a blog post.  

Secondly, my apologies for the fact that this is all true.


Stage One: YAY, we’re going to vegas

Stage Two: Dread. I’m going to spend too much money.  I’m going to drink too much.  I’m going to make bad decisions.  Ugh.  I am a wasteof life.

Stage Three:  I’m going to make a power hour dvd for Vegas

Stage Four:  My life is going to get in the way of making said dvd and it’s going to be a power 46 minutes because I don’t have time to do this

Stage Five: Morning of Vegas.  YAY I’m excited for Vegas again

Stage Six:  High five the TSA guy at LAX because you’re going to Vegas!!!!

Stage Seven:  Arrive in Vegas, in hotel dance party ensues

Stage Eight:  Ridiculously expensive night club?  Check

Stage Nine:  Dancing your face off.

Stage Ten:  Limo ride around the block!!!

Stage Eleven:  Questionably wandering home alone and passing out whilst friends eat pizza on your limp body

Stage Twelve:  Morning gambling!!!!  Also discover that your friend is in a wheel chair.  Lose money.  Realize you have an amazing rack.

Stage Thirteen:  Drinking all day at the cabana.  You realize you are awesome.  And all of your friends are equally awesome.

Stage Fourteen:  Very drunk girl finds out her boyfriend cheated on her.  She continues to cry awkwardly in the pool and you have no idea what to do because you don’t actually know her.

Stage Fifteen:  Beatles + Cirque De Soleil = Tears of joy and fist pumping in the audience

Stage Sixteen: Dancing your face off AGAIN

Stage Seventeen: Bears Sunday and downing a pitcher of beer by yourself.  Learn your friend is engaged!!!!!

Stage Eighteen:  I NEED A TATTOO. 

Stage Nineteen:  TATTOO IS TOO EXPENSIVE

Stage Twenty: Let’s gamble instead!  Win free money!  Drink ALL THE WINE.

Stage Twenty One:  I don’t feel so good.  Wine in my stomach is starting to dance and make me ill.

Stage Twenty Two:  PUKING IN THE CAR.  Puking on the side of the road.  Puking in the bathroom at random road stop.  Puking again FOR GOOD MEASURE.

Stage Twenty Three:  Passing out.

Stage Twenty Four:  Revival.  Feeling like a person again.  Then sitting in the car for another 7 hours to get home.

Stage Twenty Five:  Day after.  Ugh.  Vegas killed me.  I need to re-evaluate my life.

The end

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