Friday, December 3, 2010

Passive Aggressive Break Up Strategies

For those who want to break up but don't have the fortitude to do it themselves .... here are ways to ensure your partner will break up with YOU instead:
  • Invite Sarah Jessica Parker to live with you and your sweetie
  • Wax your girlfriend's eyebrows in the middle of the night
  • Wear carrot scented perfume 
  • Let David Crosby impregnate you
  • Serve glow worms for breakfast
  • Start growing dreadlocks
  • Hide drugs in your girlfriend's purse - call the cops as she heads to work
  • Pay Tom Brady a large sum of money to propose to your girlfriend
  • Pterodactyl noises.  In bed.
  • Keep goldfish in the toilet bowl
  • Make fruit loops part of your grooming process
  • Eat dinner with a letter opener
  • Blow a rape whistle every time he tries to touch you
  • Get a tattoo of your ex boyfriend's name
  • Stop, drop and roll in front of their coworkers 
  • Show your love through pinching
  • Kick your boyfriend in the teeth
  • Tell your partner that watching The Never Ending Story controls your mood swings

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