Friday, October 29, 2010

Checking your emotional baggage - It's more expensive than you think

This post goes out to a very special motorcycle jacket wearing lady.  (And to my former self who really needed to hear it but refused to listen).

Hey you there!  The uber independent who does not need a man.  You are tough as nails.  You will not let a boy hurt you again ever.  You cut them off before they even have a chance to hurt you.  You can rip them to shreds with a few comments and a discerning stare.  You've got it all figured out!

Here are the benefits of shutting yourself off to the possibilities of a true loving relationship:

1) You don't have to compromise.  On anything.  Never again are you forced to sit through 20 hours of South Park.  Or put up with their asshole friend who comes over for dinner and acts like a pig.  YOU WIN.

2) You don't have to worry about what he's thinking about you.  Because you don't give a shit.

3) You are completely in control of your relationship with your friends - there is no boyfriend who changes you in a way you can't see.  You know ... when you start seeing someone and you have no idea how lame you've become to your friends.  NEVER FEAR.  That doesn't happen when you are emotionally unavailable!

4) No vegetable state like year that occurs post break up.  You will not go around with a vacant look in your eye because you can't produce tears anymore, staring out at the abyss and wondering why you ever chose to love.  LUCKY YOU, since there is no relationship, there is no breakup and THERE IS NO SADNESS.

5) You get to tell off any woman that suggests that you would be more complete in a relationship.  SHE'S A FOOL.  SHE DOESN'T GET HOW AWESOME AND COOL AND POWERFUL YOU ARE.

And then here's the realities ....

1) EVERYONE and I mean EVERYONE can see your defense strategies a mile away.  You are in fact, fooling no one.

2) Being in a relationship and being a strong, smart, independent woman are not mutually exclusive.

3) All guys are not your ex boyfriend.  Repeat.  Repeat. Repeat.

4)  There are nice guys.  And don't give me that BS.  You actually KNOW nice guys!  You're literally surrounded by them.  And they get hurt just as badly as you do.

5)  You will never be hurt as badly as you were before.  I swear.  The first cut is the deepest.  After that you have this neat little reminder that life goes on and you will be happy again.

6)  The guy who is right for you doesn't deserve to be punished for what happened before.  He's not the one that hurt you - he wants to love you.  Give him a freaking chance.

7)  You are too wonderful to keep to yourself.  Really.  And deep in your heart you know it too.

8)  You learned a lot from your failed relationships.  You grew and became a better person.  You are more equipped to handle an adult relationship than you were last year.  And with every encounter you are continuing to become more of the person your future love of your life will be with.  I swear!

9) Nothing in the world compares to that feeling you get when you truly share yourself with someone - mentally, emotionally and physically.  And you deserve all of those things.

10) If you were a dude, I'd date you.  So there!

And please!!! For all of you that know me in real life.  When I am in the k-hole, remind me of my own blog post because I'm going to need it.


  1. :-) I would like the book when it comes out.

  2. I would date you too... heck Id date myself, but, those are both awkward comments. however, in respect to this blog, I get it and love it! GO LADIES!!