Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Am I an adult?

A list of arguments for and against if I am an adult.

GOD DAMN YES I am an adult ....

  • I pay all of my bills on time, I am never EVER late with my bills.
  • I keep track of all my expenses on Quicken, like a badass.  I even have monthly charts to show me where my expenses are going so I can budget accordingly.  I am one lean mean financially stable machine.
  • I like myself.  Not every day but in general.  This is a key step in realizing you are old enough to handle your own shit.
  • I have an adult job.  I manage an employee.  High level people depend on me and know that I will come through.  I have marketable skills ($$$).  There is career growth in my future.
  • I feed and clothe myself.  I go to the doctor and dentist on regular intervals.  
  • I rarely watch tv.  Most of my tv habits are when I'm going to someone else's house but I actually only follow Mad Men right now.
  • I own an espresso machine.
  • I can pull together a delicious meal for company when I want to.
  • I have finally stopped moving around the country in search of the perfect city to call a home.  I found my home.

No ::::weeping::: I'm a CHILD

  • For the most part, everyone I hang out with is in a stage of arrested development.  
  • Every day of the week has a theme associated with it .... "Things Tuesday" "Therapy Thursday" "Mistake Sunday" are all things that real adults do not have in their life.
  • Half of my apartment is sponsored by Ikea.
  • I can't sustain a wine "collection" because it never lasts that long in my apartment.  Whatever enters shall be consumed.  And how!
  • I still preparty.  Even though I can legitimately afford alcohol now.  
  • I have hosted a keg party in the last 6 months.
  • I'm single. No real romantic prospects on the horizon.  I'm approaching 30.
  • I regularly pass out on friends couches for the evening and/or they pass out on mine.  Adulthood means waking up in your bed.  Every time.
  • I can't keep up with grocery shopping.  I basically have string cheese and salsa available every day - anything else is a crapshoot.  There is often a strange odor emitting from my fridge due to some form of food that sat in there far passed it's expiration date.  Hello 12 month old new potatoes!
  • I threw up in a car this year.  Twice.
  • While I can put items in an orderly area, the deep cleaning rarely happens.  Who the eff wants to clean the toilet when you can head to the beach?  
10/8/10 update ..... The cleaners just called to say that I've left my clothes there since July.  ADULT FAIL.

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