Time to time we ladies find ourselves within eye sight of a very tall, good looking man. You may or may not be half a wine bottle deep into the evening and that look in his eyes and that swagger are enough to convince you he's someone worthy of making out with on top of your stair case.
Then upon facebook friending and further research you get that awful sneaking feeling that he may in fact be a complete douchebag. I am all to guilty of this phenomenon but readers please learn from my mistakes.
A short list of douchebag warning signs:
Popped collar - I recently fell victim to this and a PINK popped collar nonetheless. He turned out to be a hedge fund manager who was SURPRISE only interested in himself and his wealth. His baby face and tallness and ability to go get me a glass of wine in a crowd momentarily clouded my judgment.
V-neck -You would think the wife beater would be the ultimate signal of a dbag, but in Southern California it's practically a uniform. You get some slack for wearing it since it tends to be hot and sunny out here and I guess it lets you breathe? The v-neck is like a classier wife beater. Men wear it to show off their tanned and seemingly ripped chests. You might as well wear a sign that says I WORK OUT.
Inability to drink without bending the straw to the side - because he's too cool to sip a straw and needs to show his male dominance over that tiny piece of plastic. Fist pump!
Dropping the "I'm a consultant/lawyer/investment banker/surgeon/bartender at the Viceroy" card - women who are only interested in dating certain professions are not the classiest of ladies. If you want substance, I'd highly suggest actually snagging a girl with your winning personality and not your paycheck.
The "I don't leave the west side of LA" guy - There is life east of the 405. I swear.
Overuse of the word bro - 'nuf said.
Posting videos of you feeding a cat your beer bong on facebook Ew. You're just shy of 30. Please grow up.
Only posting shirtless photos - I'm going to tell you right now that sadly no woman will love you as much as you love yourself.
Please let me know what I am missing from this list. I have a sneaking suspicion that I will continually update as the year goes on because lord knows LA is full of douchebags.