The year of the growing pains

I remember when I was in grade school/junior high that the adults in my life believed that kids experienced growing pains.  The basic premise was that your body was growing at such a rapid rate that it caused you physical pain.  I also remember that there really wasn’t a treatment for this – you had to just suffer through the growth and hope you were a svelte beautiful teenager once it was over.

This year has been the adult equivalent of a growing pain.  The cause of this pain is not due to the physical growth but rather rapid mental and emotional maturity.  The catalyst was probably leaving a company that made me who I am today, hitting some bumps on the road and ending up at a new company that is a match for where I am heading.  And there was some major drama with a man who I had no business having feelings for. But he too proved to be there when I needed him the most and was a positive influence on my life.  I had to work through losing him (because it was a bad idea for both of us) and trying to recuperate from the loss of a true soul mate. (Hint: no matter how many people you surround yourself with afterwards, you walk away feeling very alone for some time after it ends).

But the most difficult aspect of the adult growing pain condition is that it is impossible to diagnose.  It sort of looks like depression, a quarterlife crises or psychosis to your closest friends.  And as the patient – you were a bouncy, happy individual and then all of the sudden things don’t feel right.  But what’s going on mentally is important (albeit frazzling). 

That’s what I’ve been feeling this year.  And as an unlicensed practitioner of a condition that I’ve just made up – I’d say I’m getting closer to the other side.  I’m feeling wiser and more in tune with the adult me.  I’m more at peace with things that have happened in my life.  I find that it’s much easier to sweat the small stuff now than it was just two months ago (for example – I damaged my new beautiful convertible and it didn’t so much as cause a bad day).  I think that means that (eek) I’m getting ready to be a full fledged/beautiful-on-the-inside 30 something? 

And as a graphical representation of my current feelings I've enclosed a photo of my happy disembodied head.