For those who want to break up but don't have the fortitude to do it themselves .... here are ways to ensure your partner will break up with YOU instead:
- Invite Sarah Jessica Parker to live with you and your sweetie
- Wax your girlfriend's eyebrows in the middle of the night
- Wear carrot scented perfume
- Let David Crosby impregnate you
- Serve glow worms for breakfast
- Start growing dreadlocks
- Hide drugs in your girlfriend's purse - call the cops as she heads to work
- Pay Tom Brady a large sum of money to propose to your girlfriend
- Pterodactyl noises. In bed.
- Keep goldfish in the toilet bowl
- Make fruit loops part of your grooming process
- Eat dinner with a letter opener
- Blow a rape whistle every time he tries to touch you
- Get a tattoo of your ex boyfriend's name
- Stop, drop and roll in front of their coworkers
- Show your love through pinching
- Kick your boyfriend in the teeth
- Tell your partner that watching The Never Ending Story controls your mood swings
this is hilarious.
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